Dodger Game 2010

Remember how I mentioned that I was going to a Dodger game? Well, here are some pics!! :)

When we first arrived, this is what we saw....lol not a good sign! but, everything was fine with the Stadium!

The Dodger game was so much fun!!! I always have an amazing time when I'm with the people I love! They're a random bunch, but a lovely one :) At one point during the game, Anneliese got a call from a friend asking what the score was and she looked around the stadium for like 2 minutes and couldn't find it lol! So as you can see, we don't really pay attention to the game...we just go to enjoy each other's company! I love them! :)

A couple weeks ago, my wonderful man cooked dinner for me and it was Delicious!

And Yesterday, my Sweet Man stopped by my work with my FAVORITE flowers!

He also took me to lunch :)

3 years ago yesterday, my dad passed away unexpectedly...and it's always a hard day for me, but Ryan was so sweet and supportive! He made my day much better! I really really miss my dad... I feel like he's missing out on so much! I wish he would have met Ryan...and spoiled Noah! But things don't always work out the way you want them to...I miss him so much. I'm so grateful to have so many people in my life that love me and support me during those tough times. I'm very blessed!

Here are a few pictures of my little Noah:

Exhale

          You know that feeling...when you've been holding your breath for a long time? And you feel the pressure in your lungs, you feel like you actually NEED Oxygen, and you know that as soon as you exhale...that next inhale is going to feel like such a relief! Well..last night I exhaled and inhaled and it felt great! :) I had a lot of things on my mind and I let go of them and I'm moving forward! I feel like a brand new person! I'm so gateful for having such an Amazing Man in my life. He listens to me and he knows how to make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world! I am absolutely in love with this Wonderful Man.
         When I was growing, I didn't have the best childhood...I experienced a lot of horrible situations at home. My dad was a wonderful father, but not the best husband. So I witnessed a lot of domestic abuse...physical and emotional. And I always wondered why all those things happened to me if I hadn't done anything bad to deserve that..and I always hoped to have a happier life as an adult. My mom always told me "I hope you are blessed with a wonderful husband" and I always hoped for the same thing. But now that I've been blessed with such an amazing boyfriend...I know that he will be the wonderful husband I always hoped for. I know that he was meant to be a blessing in my life. I know that everything in our lives happened for a reason...and the outcome of all those things led to US. The bond that we have is so sweet. It's not only a physical attraction, but also a spiritual one. I can honestly say he completes me. I am soo deeply in love with this Man. He's on his way home right now and I can't express how excited I am to see him. The hours seem to be 10 times longer than usual...so I'll try to keep busy at work :)

Love,
Stephanie Arcos

2010

I just realized I haven't written anything this year!!!! I've been keeping up with my personal journal, but not on here! Anyways, lets get started!

Family:
They are doing pretty good, well no...I lie. lol They actually aren't doing so well...
My mom and sister are inactive, and my 16 yr old sister is pregnant and due in May. It's been a bit of a roller coaster for us :( I'm not very good at sharing my feelings. I'm not good at ALL! And I know that's bad... but its just really really difficult to just talk about it. When we first found out that she was pregnant was back in January...I came home from school and I had picked up the mail on the way in. When I got to the kitchen, I saw a letter for my sister that came from a clinic,and i got worried and opened it...and that's how we found out. Not a very good way to find out at all..but I guess there wouldn't be a good way to find out. My mom started crying and started blaming herself...etc. I didn't know what to say. I was literally speechless! And I knew that if I were to have said something, it would be something mean, so I kept my mouth shut. I will just support her and try to be there when she needs me :) So anyway, things were a bit crazy, but right now they are going okay... They still don't go to church, but I continue going! It's a little sad to sit by myself, but as long as I am nourishing my spirit, everything will be fine! So, that's that.

School and Work:
Both are going pretty good. My history class is SUPER boring!!! But I've gotten good grades on the quizzes, so I'm not too worried! The writing assignments are a bit intense :( So I am not looking forward to them.. Work is busy...I'm working 5 days a week now...30 hours. I love the paycheck :) I've been saving my money, and im proud of myself!

Ryan:
He is doing fantastic! We celebrated our 1 year anniversary on February 5th! It's amazing how fast time flies! I still remember his black emo hair lol! Goood times! We're doing great, people ask us about marriage ALL the time! It gets annoying at times and it makes it a bit awkward, because as a girl... I never know what to say when they ask "When?". Little do they know...that we're on the SAME boat! lol i have NO idea when Ry is going to "pop the question"! It's a little frustrating at times and I get in a strange mood every time we go to weddings! I start saying things I don't mean...like "I'm tired of YSA activities..." lol and a bunch of other ridiculous nonsense. Ryan can tell RIGHT away...and he calms me down. But I think I have the right to feel a little frustrated, I'm a GIRL! We dream about our wedding day since we're 5! So, I try to understand why I feel the way I do, and just move on. Patience is a virtue. On some days I realize how young I am and I begin to think that it would be crazy if I got married! But then I look back on my life and think of ALL the events that presented themselves at an early part of my life. I grew up a little too fast. I just...I don't know. My brain is in a knot...literally lol. :) We've had our ups and downs, at some point I didn't feel as appreciated as I thought I should be...and I told him about it and we came up with ways that he can be a little more appreciative. So far, he's doing alright. I just wish things were like they were a year ago...when he couldn't go a day without seeing me, and he would show up at random times and throw stuff at my bedroom window just to give me a gatorade..lol Or even when he brought me some Sunflowers, out of the blue! But I guess that was the first stage...the "honeymoon" stage. We're obviously in a different stage of our relationship, and that's fine. I feel more connected with him. We're more in tune. I know when he's having a bad day, I know when he's mad, sad, frustrated, happy, excited...etc. And it goes both ways, He reads me like a book! At times its a little uncomfy for him to show affection in public..because we had different parents. My parents were very loving...but it didn't last too long, they got a divorce by the time I was 8. His parents don't show too much PDA..but they have such a sweet relationship that is going to last for eternity. So, I want to have a hybrid of the both...I LOVE to show him that I love him! I like to randomly hug him, kiss him, hold his hand, rub his cheek, etc.. But for him it's a little different. He isn't that creative with showing his love, but then again, he's a guy. Guys tend to be like that. But enough about that!
We've done some fun stuff this year! We went to a play, Visited Cafe Rio, Went to a HP dance, Ry had a bday party, Went to Victoria Gardens, went to Phoenix Restaurant, and a lot of other fun stuff! I think for now, I'll enjoy every minute with my Sweetheart! He makes me really really happy! I adore his family! Michelle is really kind and funny! We always pick on Ryan when we're together..lol! Lisa is sooo friendly and helpful! She always helps me with my chocolate dipping :) Mike is quiet, but once you get him to talk...he's funny, intelligent and very sweet! And Holly, I only got to meet her a few times, but she's hilarious and very friendly! :)

Me:
I'm doing okay. There are quite a few things on my mind...The other night I had a break down. It was terrible! My dad was killed in Mexico about 2 and a half years ago. He was shot in the back of his left ear and on his back. When my mom told me that he passed away, she just said he was in an "accident"...a couple of days later I googled his name and I found the newspaper article that explained how he was killed. And ever since then, I've had nightmares, and just horrible thoughts about him :( I didn't get to attend his funeral so I don't feel like I ever got closure.
After finding out that he was shot, I began to have this huge fear of guns. I start to freak out when I see one...and I don't know how to get over that fear! I probably need a psychologist. My bed is right next to my window and the other day I started picturing someone shooting at my window, so I got scared and slept on the floor. I don't think that's normal...I started crying and I felt so lonely! I prayed, called Ryan and we did a prayer together. He helped me calm down and I was finally able to sleep. It's really hard for me to talk/write about all this. I never really talked to anyone about my dad. I just locked myself in my room and cried for days! I think I need a blessing, that will help.

Well, its getting late and I'm really tired, Good night!

-Steph