Oh Dear...

This Week has been rough!
Things at home have been a little crazy. Nothing extremely horrible, just a few things here and there. My mom and her bf argue over dumb things. And I always stress over my sister and the baby. She might be moving out soon, with her bf. So, We'll see. I just want everything to be okay with her and the baby. Work has been good, but my boss has been so rude lately. ugh... he's so arrogant! School...its finals week! so that is self explanatory. As for Ryan, everything was fine, up until last night. He asked me something that offended me, and it just kind of ruined the day. It was our 16 month-aversary yesterday, so I was hoping it would be great, but it didn't turn out that way. But it's okay. I'm quick to forgive, so things are better now. Well, that's about it.
 

Onto a few positive things: 

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  I have a surprise for Ry, and I haven't ruined it! He has no clue!

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  I cooked enchiladas yesterday and they were delicious :) 

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  I bought Ry a Dodger hat and it fit! lol 

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  We played Monopoly with Ry's family, and I won! It was fun :) 

  Sooo, yeah. That's it for now!
  

2010

I just realized I haven't written anything this year!!!! I've been keeping up with my personal journal, but not on here! Anyways, lets get started!

Family:
They are doing pretty good, well no...I lie. lol They actually aren't doing so well...
My mom and sister are inactive, and my 16 yr old sister is pregnant and due in May. It's been a bit of a roller coaster for us :( I'm not very good at sharing my feelings. I'm not good at ALL! And I know that's bad... but its just really really difficult to just talk about it. When we first found out that she was pregnant was back in January...I came home from school and I had picked up the mail on the way in. When I got to the kitchen, I saw a letter for my sister that came from a clinic,and i got worried and opened it...and that's how we found out. Not a very good way to find out at all..but I guess there wouldn't be a good way to find out. My mom started crying and started blaming herself...etc. I didn't know what to say. I was literally speechless! And I knew that if I were to have said something, it would be something mean, so I kept my mouth shut. I will just support her and try to be there when she needs me :) So anyway, things were a bit crazy, but right now they are going okay... They still don't go to church, but I continue going! It's a little sad to sit by myself, but as long as I am nourishing my spirit, everything will be fine! So, that's that.

School and Work:
Both are going pretty good. My history class is SUPER boring!!! But I've gotten good grades on the quizzes, so I'm not too worried! The writing assignments are a bit intense :( So I am not looking forward to them.. Work is busy...I'm working 5 days a week now...30 hours. I love the paycheck :) I've been saving my money, and im proud of myself!

Ryan:
He is doing fantastic! We celebrated our 1 year anniversary on February 5th! It's amazing how fast time flies! I still remember his black emo hair lol! Goood times! We're doing great, people ask us about marriage ALL the time! It gets annoying at times and it makes it a bit awkward, because as a girl... I never know what to say when they ask "When?". Little do they know...that we're on the SAME boat! lol i have NO idea when Ry is going to "pop the question"! It's a little frustrating at times and I get in a strange mood every time we go to weddings! I start saying things I don't mean...like "I'm tired of YSA activities..." lol and a bunch of other ridiculous nonsense. Ryan can tell RIGHT away...and he calms me down. But I think I have the right to feel a little frustrated, I'm a GIRL! We dream about our wedding day since we're 5! So, I try to understand why I feel the way I do, and just move on. Patience is a virtue. On some days I realize how young I am and I begin to think that it would be crazy if I got married! But then I look back on my life and think of ALL the events that presented themselves at an early part of my life. I grew up a little too fast. I just...I don't know. My brain is in a knot...literally lol. :) We've had our ups and downs, at some point I didn't feel as appreciated as I thought I should be...and I told him about it and we came up with ways that he can be a little more appreciative. So far, he's doing alright. I just wish things were like they were a year ago...when he couldn't go a day without seeing me, and he would show up at random times and throw stuff at my bedroom window just to give me a gatorade..lol Or even when he brought me some Sunflowers, out of the blue! But I guess that was the first stage...the "honeymoon" stage. We're obviously in a different stage of our relationship, and that's fine. I feel more connected with him. We're more in tune. I know when he's having a bad day, I know when he's mad, sad, frustrated, happy, excited...etc. And it goes both ways, He reads me like a book! At times its a little uncomfy for him to show affection in public..because we had different parents. My parents were very loving...but it didn't last too long, they got a divorce by the time I was 8. His parents don't show too much PDA..but they have such a sweet relationship that is going to last for eternity. So, I want to have a hybrid of the both...I LOVE to show him that I love him! I like to randomly hug him, kiss him, hold his hand, rub his cheek, etc.. But for him it's a little different. He isn't that creative with showing his love, but then again, he's a guy. Guys tend to be like that. But enough about that!
We've done some fun stuff this year! We went to a play, Visited Cafe Rio, Went to a HP dance, Ry had a bday party, Went to Victoria Gardens, went to Phoenix Restaurant, and a lot of other fun stuff! I think for now, I'll enjoy every minute with my Sweetheart! He makes me really really happy! I adore his family! Michelle is really kind and funny! We always pick on Ryan when we're together..lol! Lisa is sooo friendly and helpful! She always helps me with my chocolate dipping :) Mike is quiet, but once you get him to talk...he's funny, intelligent and very sweet! And Holly, I only got to meet her a few times, but she's hilarious and very friendly! :)

Me:
I'm doing okay. There are quite a few things on my mind...The other night I had a break down. It was terrible! My dad was killed in Mexico about 2 and a half years ago. He was shot in the back of his left ear and on his back. When my mom told me that he passed away, she just said he was in an "accident"...a couple of days later I googled his name and I found the newspaper article that explained how he was killed. And ever since then, I've had nightmares, and just horrible thoughts about him :( I didn't get to attend his funeral so I don't feel like I ever got closure.
After finding out that he was shot, I began to have this huge fear of guns. I start to freak out when I see one...and I don't know how to get over that fear! I probably need a psychologist. My bed is right next to my window and the other day I started picturing someone shooting at my window, so I got scared and slept on the floor. I don't think that's normal...I started crying and I felt so lonely! I prayed, called Ryan and we did a prayer together. He helped me calm down and I was finally able to sleep. It's really hard for me to talk/write about all this. I never really talked to anyone about my dad. I just locked myself in my room and cried for days! I think I need a blessing, that will help.

Well, its getting late and I'm really tired, Good night!

-Steph

Ikea Hot Dogs

Hello :)

Soooo Today,

I had a pretty good day! I went to work, went to school, and then I went to Ikea with Ry and had some hot dogs :) yum

the end...haha

Concert, Love and School

Hello :)

Well, the Blink 182 concert was....interesting. Weezer and Taking Back Sunday were the opening bands for Blink, and honestly...Weezer was THE BEST! they are AMAZING live! they sounds just like their cd :) they dont cuss, and they keep the crowd going! i LOVED them! Blink on the other hand.....I was so disappointed! they play really well, but when it comes to singing...they don't sound like their cd. lol but overall it was a great concert :) It took us about 2 hours to get out of the parking lot! that Venue is horrible when it comes to exiting...

Us @ the concert :)

hmm oh yes! I have homework! ew :/ but good news is...Ry and I are doing it together, so it'll be fun! So thats our task for today, homework. We have a speech due on Monday!!! ahhh! our first official speech! I'm sure we'll be fine :)

We went to a dance last night! it was fun! :) not a lot of people know this....but i LOVE to dance! i absolutely LOVE it! when I feel like working out, I just dance in my room! lol I love Merengue and any type of latin music. Ry...doesnt really know how to dance and gets frustrated. lol but! he tries really hard and i appreciate that :) So! I'm going to try to teach him how to dance so he can feel comfy dancing in front of people. I'm sure it'll be fun!

Well, time to get ready! I'm going to help Anneliese do her make up for a wedding :)

byeee!!!

-Steph

Ps: Ryan, if you ever read this...

I love you with all my heart and im sooo glad you're

in my life! :) You make my world so beautiful! Thank you

for always taking care of me and being so sweet! I can't

wait to see you later! love you!

-Steph

SummerNights in DowntownCovina

Hello Friends :)



School started this past Monday!!! So far, it seems like it's going to be a smooth semester!

I'm taking: Speech, Marriage and Family, and Life & Career Planning. Ryan is in 2 of my classes! which is fun!!



Speech:

Our professor is really nice and entertaining! I think he's gay, which makes everything he does funny. lol :) The class isn't too bad, we have about 6 speeches throughout the semester, which as an LDS girl is nothing! lol I've been speaking in public since I was 11, so no biggy:) Ryan seems to enjoy it also. We had a pop quiz on our second day and I believe I should be recieving 100% on it. so I'm happy :) Ryan didn't do so well, but thats just because he didn't know what to expect, which is normal. We studied a little bit last night, I made him some flash cards!! Hopefully that will help him. We will be studying again tonight. :)



Marriage and Family:

Our professor for this class is really nice and friendly. She's been married twice which makes it interesting :) She's familiar with the do's and dont's of Marriage. This class will be very interesting, I've heard a lot of good things about it :) I'm excited!



Life and Career Planning:

This class is going to be really easy! The professor announced that he does NOT give a FINAL! which is very VERY rare! We will be reading The Last Lecture [ which I have already read] and The Alchemist. They both are easy reads. :) only bad thing is....its on FRIDAYS. lol but it's not bad I enjoyed it a lot! So, I'm looking forward to this semester!



Friday Night:

Ryan and I decided to get pupusas for dinner and after that we went to Downtown Covina for a Farmers Market. I LOVE downtown Covina! its so cute!!! and i looove how it feels like im on an episode of the Gilmore Girls. hahaha :) All I need is a super hot Dean...LOL jk I have my super handsome Ryan <3>

Saturday Night:

I went over to Ryan's house and we had dinner with his Wonderful Family!! We watched the Princess Bride!!! FINALLY! lol Ive been begging Ryan to watch it for about a month! and he kept saying he doesn't like chick flicks...but! he finally decided to watch it, and he enjoyed it!! :) its a classic! Sooooo that was our weekend!

Today:

I will be going over to Ryan's house to study and have dinner :) should be fun!

Well, its been great! ttyl!!!

Steph